I want to begin by giving
you a verse of Scripture that is hard to know where it fits. It is Proverbs
24:26. It says, “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.”
What does that mean?
What is the relationship
between an honest answer and a kiss on the lips.
I think it is three things.
1. Just as it is relatively
rare to be kissed on the lips, even so it is relatively rare to hear a true and
honest answer.
2. Just as the kiss on the
lips means more than the kiss on the cheek, even so an honest answer is a mark
of true sincerity.
3. Just as a kiss on the
lips can be and should be deeply satisfying to the soul, even so an honest
answer is satisfying to the soul.
I was reading Proverbs,
literally thumbing through it, and came across that verse.
It seemed to me to say so
much to us that we need to think about.
An honest answer is as
rare, as sincere and as satisfying as a kiss on the lips.
If you look in the the
dictionary for the word integrity, what you will find is almost always a
definition that includes the word “wholeness,” because the very word integrity
itself has the idea of that which is whole-hearted, that which is completely
honest, whole, complete and true. I actually did a little study in the Bible to
see how many times the word integrity comes up.
The first is a reference to
King David’s integrity.
It is found in Psalm
78:72. “And David shepherded them with integrity of heart; and with
skillful hands he led them.” That text is telling us that the thing
that made David’s reign as king so wonderful was that he was a man who
performed his task of leadership with integrity.
I Kings 9:4-5 is what the
Lord said to Solomon, who followed his father, David. “As for you, if
you walk before me in integrity of heart and uprightness, as David your father
did, and do all I command and observe my decrees and laws, I will establish
your royal throne over Israel forever.”
God told Solomon that he
values integrity so much, that if he would be a man of integrity as David was,
what God did for him, he would do for Solomon, and even more than that, and
establish him on his throne forever.
I Chronicles 29:17 is what
David said, “I know, my God, that you test the heart and are pleased
with integrity.” That tells us two things. First, that God does indeed
search the human heart. Second, what God is looking for inside the human heart
is this quality of integrity.
Nehemiah 7:2 says, “I
put in charge of Jerusalem my brother Hanani, along with Hananiah the commander
of the citadel, because he was a man of integrity and feared God more than most
men do.” That is an unusual phrase.
Proverbs 10:9 says, “The
man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found
out.” The man of integrity has security in his life, whereas the man
of crooked paths is going to be uncovered.
Proverbs 11:3 says, “The
integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their
duplicity.” Notice the comparison between the man of integrity and the
unfaithful who are destroyed by duplicity. What is integrity? It is wholeness
of purpose, total honesty, a whole-hearted, blameless approach to life. It is
the opposite of those unfaithful, unreliable people who say one thing and then
do another.
Proverbs 13:6 says, “Righteousness
guards the man of integrity, but wickedness overthrows the sinner.” We
are being told that the man of integrity is kept straight by God.
Proverbs 29:10 says, “Bloodthirsty
men hate a man of integrity and seek to kill the upright.”That is a warning
that if you decide to live according to integrity, not everybody will like the
way you are living. Integrity will bring you protection from God, but it does
not mean that you will have an easy road in the world.
Matthew 22:16 is a comment
by the Pharisees who are talking to Jesus. “Teacher, we know that you
are a man of integrity.” That is important because that testimony comes
from the Pharisees, who basically were trying to trap him.
This is a testimony even by
his enemies—even his enemies had to say that Jesus was a man of integrity. “You
teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. You aren’t swayed by men,
because you pay no attention to who they are.” Integrity means that you tell
the truth, and aren’t unduly swayed by human opinion.
Integrity is a
combination of three things: honesty, dependability, and purity of motive.
Qualities of Integrity
1. Integrity means telling the truth even when it hurts.
Proverbs 12:17 says, “A
truthful witness gives honest testimony, but a false witness tells lies.”
Proverbs 22:1 says, “A
good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than
silver or gold.” The first mark of integrity is that you tell the
truth even when it hurts you.
Not long ago I had a
discussion with a man who is living far away from here. This is a man who is
undergoing a difficult and bloody, bitter divorce. The facts of it do not
matter for my story. As I listened to his story, I could not say for sure who
was right and who was wrong. It seems that in those situations there is plenty
of guilty to pass around on both sides. As we talked about his upcoming divorce
proceedings, this man told me that some things had been uncovered that he hoped
would not come out in court. He said, “If I get up there, I will deny it.” He
would get on the stand and tell a lie because the truth would hurt him badly in
the divorce proceedings. I looked at him straight in the eye and said, “My
friend, whatever you do, tell the truth, even if it hurts you. Remember, you
can always get your money back, but you can’t get your integrity back.” You
can’t. Once that is gone, you can never really get it back again. If you do, it
will take you years. Tell the truth even when it hurts you. Integrity means that
you are an honest witness, that what you say is the truth of what actually is.
2. Integrity means keeping a promise when you would rather not.
Psalm 15:1 says, “Who
may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? He whose walk is
blameless and who does what is righteous.” Then he gives a list of
what it means to be righteous. Psalm 15:4 says, “He who keeps his oath
even when it hurts.” The man of integrity keeps his promise even when
he would rather not. He keeps his oath even when it hurts. How do you do that?
When you sign a contract, you are making a promise. When you use a credit card,
you are making a promise.
When you sign up to do something, you are making a
promise. When you say you are going to join something, you are making a promise.
When you set an appointment, you are making an promise. When you say you are
going to teach a class, you are making a promise. When you say you will be
there, you are making a promise. And the man of integrity keeps his promises
even when he would rather not.
How can we be the kind of
people who keep our promises?
A. Watch your words.
B. Make fewer promises.
C. If you can’t, don’t say
you can.
D. If you don’t know, say
you don’t know.
E. Avoid rash vows.
F. Learn to say no.
3. Integrity means that you confront problems when it would be easier to
walk away.
Proverbs 27:5-6 says, “Better
is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an
enemy multiplies kisses.” I like the King James much better
here. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.”
Sometimes being a man or
woman of integrity means that you don’t walk away from a problem. It means you
see a problem and you hit it head on, when it would be easier and more
convenient and pleasant to just walk away.
A couple of years ago I was
talking with one of the women of this church. She had a very interesting
statement that stuck in my mind and came back to me as I thought about this
sermon. She was talking about somebody else in our congregation that she needed
to go talk to. She said this, “Pastor Ray, it is not going to be easy for me to
do this because I don’t like doing this kind of thing. It won’t be easy for me
to say what needs to be said. But I have now learned that I am old enough to do
what I have to do.” Integrity means that you see a problem and hit it head-on.
Norman Schwartzkopf, the
great general of the Persian Gulf War, gave this response when asked what was
his secret of leadership. “I never walk past a problem. I never see something
going wrong and forget about it. I always stop and confront it right there.”
Integrity means
that you see a problem and you deal with it when it comes up.
I remember something I was
told by a fellow pastor who has been in his church for years.
We were together one night
and I asked him how he survived 25 years in a church. He said, “I learned years
ago when I was just starting out in the ministry that my tendency was when I
see a problem, it is easier to just walk away. I discovered that I had to fight
that tendency. I discovered through hard experience that the first price you
pay is always the cheapest.” What that means is that the first price you pay in
handling human relational conflicts is always the cheapest.
The reason that we
don’t want to get involved in solving problems that we see around us is that we
think that if we just wait, they will solve themselves. That is rarely the
case. We think the price will go down if we wait. I have discovered that this
pastor friend is right. It applies to marriage problems. It applies to
parent-child problems. It applies to relationships of any kind within the
family, at work, in the church. Integrity
means that you see a problem and you deal with it when it comes up.
Problems never get better when you ignore them. You may think you love someone
too much to say anything. No, if you really love them,. you would speak the
truth. You would speak it in love, but you will speak the truth they need to
hear. Integrity does not ignore the problems of life.
4. Integrity means forgiving when you’d rather hold a grudge.
Some of us have come into
the new year with some bitterness over things that have happened in the past.
Maybe as you look at the holiday season, you feel that you have been
mistreated. May I remind you of two truths. First, you are to forgive because
God has already forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind to one
another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God for Christ’s sake
has forgiven you." Second, you are to forgive because you
promised God you would forgive. Every time you pray the Lord’s Prayer you are
promising to forgive. “Forgive us our debts as we have forgiven our
debtors.”
You are to forgive because
bitterness destroys, while forgiveness sets you free.
You are to forgive because
forgiveness sets you free to minister to those who have hurt you. As long as
you hold a grudge, you are chained to the past. As long as you are angry about
the way you have been treated, you are still living back in the past.
I was having a conversation
with somebody two or three weeks ago. A statement stuck in my mind. Out of the
blue, she said, “I have decided to forgive him.” That, my friend, is a
Christian statement. Integrity chooses to forgive. Integrity means forgiving
when you’d rather hold a grudge.
It is always good to think
about how you want the year to go. This year we ought to be people of
unquestioned integrity. We ought to be people of honesty, truthfulness,
dependability, people of truly pure motives. That means telling the truth even
when it hurts. That means keeping your promises when you’d rather not. That
means confronting problems when it would be easier to walk away. That means
forgiving others when you’d rather hold a grudge.
As we stand on the brink of
a new year, we know that our Lord Jesus Christ was and is a man of unquestioned
integrity. If you are going to follow him this year, you are going to walk in
integrity, you are going to live in integrity, you’re going to be honest,
truthful, dependable. The good news is this: integrity may seem hard, but
through Jesus Christ, it is really easy. Dishonesty may seem easy, but for the
Christian it is always hard. Jesus Christ can give you the power to be a person
of unquestioned integrity this year.
Honesty, facing your
problems, paying the price, forgiving others, keeping your promises.
It’s going to be a great
year. Let’s go through it as men and women committed to the ultimate virtue:
the virtue of integrity.
Our
Heavenly Father, we thank you for a brand new year. Please help us as we move
through it. Lord, without you we can do nothing, but through your power all
things are possible. So help us to be truthful, honest, open, and
straightforward in all of our relationships. Help us to be men and women who
walk before you with integrity of heart this year. We pray in Jesus’ name.
Amen.
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